Confessions

They watched her brand new feet
When she was but a two footer,
And spoke no coherent words,
Take her first step and then another

Oh what a clever little child, this!
Best in the neighborhood, nay
best, In the entire town of ours
such a darling, so much promise!

Say, my darling, you think?
Will she be a big shot lawyer,
she in her prim coat and collar
stand up for justice and order?

Oh, I think she’ll be an actor,
Look how she is born to it,
Flirty smiles charades of tears
Can’t tell when she’s playactin’

A clever little one she is I say,
She’ll be at the top of her school
We’ll never force her this way or that
But she’ll make us proud soon

So little Minnie grows up and fast
She’s all they thought an’ some
Lawyer or doctor or actor or anyone
She chooses she may now become

She doesn’t know in her heart although
Which path to set her foot on
Should there be just one, o why
Could she not try it all one by one?

She was hard on herself for this
And pushed herself so much
Reprieve she never gave herself
Worked and brooded, harder again

And thus it went on for the longest time
And Minnie was doing well enough
Well, she wasn’t a lawyer or an actor
But a good job found her somehow

“Course this isn’t the final thing,
For mom and dad are still waiting’
She hadn’t still made it big you see
And time, so ruthless was slipping

Every night, her dear old pillow
Heard her sniffle and mutter in
Dreams, such dreadful dreams she had
Running so hard, never reaching

So one day she said its ‘nuf
And thought she needed a break
Just some hard thinking you know
About the one path she must take

There she sits by her desk alone
‘Mommy I am alright, no one
disturbs me or gets me food right now
till I say its ok and I am done’

“Do you think she is in Love my dear?”
No, I don’t see how that could be
Never saw anyone ‘xcept her cat
Come around, other than you an me

So you think she needs someone?
To ward off some of those blues?
Well, that may be so you know,
No one likes being utterly aloof

When did she get that way honey
Was a happy enough child I guess
She works herself too much I see
Though makes so little progress

Did Minnie hear any of this?
Some tears are surely rolling
She flung that door open wide
Took the car out , went driving

She was back with the fading day
Spoke to none, didn’t Minnie
She had dinner by herself,
And went to bed early

Morning found her room all cold
Just a note flapping on the pillow
Mommy held it close to her heart
they wept, graying, getting old

And days went by, and months and months
They were angry and bitter and morose
Why their child now hated them
Never came back nor called or wrote

He knew not what to think of it
when daddy heard the bell one day
they leapt and rushed without a doubt
It did ring in that familiar way

There she was all right, their girl
Just a bit older than they knew
They dint hug or welcome her in
For a moment she kept standing too

Then there were smiles, tentative
Tears too there were a few
And they had noticed something in her
their daughter had changed for good

When the night fell calm and quiet
and they were afraid to let her be
for they hadn’t had a word till now
about the while she wasn’t seen

that was the time when they sat
together in a dim light in the porch
and she told them in a dreamy voice
of reasons, all travels, and more

“so down and out was I, you know
for I let you both down so
One day in the park I sat alone
‘twas evening, no, just a dusky glow

I looked at the sky above me then
And some magical surprise it was
It had the cleanest blue I’ve seen
Not a cloud or a bird in sight

I didn’t remember how long
It’d been since I saw the sky this way
I looked at it all right, I know
But saw it the first time that day

I asked myself what else I’d missed
So one by one they came
All those things I should have seen
And known that this was it

Like my dear old cat an’ my pillow
Who are surely the best in this world,
My mom and dad and all their cares
And weekends spent together

Well, I knew in my heart that day
What really does keep me going,
Sure, I dint want to believe it then
But I now I am glad for knowing

It doesn’t drive me, as it should
This dream of making things big
Home and hearth, and books and love
That’s what gives me peace

This ain’t what we set out for
But it’s what I really now want
Others I know there are for sure
For them, could be Acting or Law

Its not simple, this business of life,
You’ve taught me all you could
Will you love me now, as you only can
If I tread the familiar road?

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